Pledging Authenticity

A few days ago, I decided to turn a portion of the open garage into an "art corner" for me. I can't call it a studio. I can't call it a crafts room. It's just a space with a "ping pong" table neatly concealed by a brown checkered table cloth.

Everything is laid out, okay, or more like, scattered! Paint brushes, papers, wrappers, glue gun, glitters, boards, bottles, what have you covering every inch of space.

Still, I wish for a room of my own.. You know, a "real studio" with all the neat boxes and folders and containers for sorting things - even a small room would do. It'll happen. But for now, I have the garage and I'm thankful for that. "Where practicality exists, imagination is honed!"

At the beginning of the year, I made a pact to live the "Authenticity Pledge." I haven't given account how close to the pledge I've poured myself into, but I'm thinking that bravely giving life to my creative spirit is a big move forward. 

I've started designing Christmas decors. The kind of crystal fantasy rooted in my mind and can't ever be found anywhere else. I'm also dreaming up designs for rose flower showcases and frilly decoupage boxes. Everything tenderly handmade using, as much recycled and organic materials. as possible. My bit in helping  the earth.

Will my creations be pretty enough to be given merit? Remains to be seen, but my muse has been very inspiring.

"Staying Clear of Dementors!"

Ooooh dear, dear...dear..this may sound harsh, sigh!
Please, allow me to clarify, I appreciate folks' and feel deeply for concerns!  But, and that's a big , deep BUT, sometimes hearing the same depressing life issues, complaints and  karma carnage pounded, rehashed and rolled on every single conceivable moment, can be lethal to the senses! 


Flag me, I'm being all too unkind, yes probably, but there are some folks, with much  painful regret, I truly must  step back from, - for the moment. These people (forgive my saying) but they suck the life out of you. Every thing seems to be gloom and doom, from the words they vomit, to the actual projectile spewed in their life. Now, it is one thing to be a listening ear, another to be a willing doormat, and a vapid accomplice to victim mentality! 


Yes, life can be harsh and  seeded with problems, but a great harvest of it, we actually have a hand in sowing!! It makes no sense to forever blame others for the bleak situation we're mired in. Answers will manifest but only when we humble ourselves  to wisely ask for clarity and direction ,instead of  aiming arrows and throwing darts at an invisible harbinger of endless dark days.The Twilight vampires had more luck!


This is not breaking ties or cutting chords - but till I feel wholly complete in body ( I have had the flu) mind and spirit,  and until I have resolved my own web of concerns, I simply will be of no use hearing out casualty and complaints occurring for years on end. To continually immerse myself in the black aura of doomy' dementors would adversely affect my own sense of well being. At times you just have to stand up and say,  no way.

Who Can Hear?

When I neglect to live according to the values twined and rooted into the very heart of me, my world miserably runs over. I walk around in a state of  daze,  a cotton of thick hazy gray cloud hovering above my inner eye; my breaths come in flailing bursts of fumbling sighs and gurgled gasps. 

I mutter the mumblings of fools. I wither like the fire drenched grass. I dissipate.like the mist. And,

I die the puny death of an earthly ant lice inside.

Look, the world is a beating drumbeat with a soul enlarged, breathed into being by the God of love. It is alive. It speaks. It ponders. When we go off course and live not in the way we are intended, this world  communicates in a somber language channeled not through our ears, but through our pores. The very miracle of our human cells are mediums that can hear the chimes of time. Listen if you will. I am.

I Think About It

I've been a solitary visitor to blogs lately, preferring to just peek and read and smile at all the nice things going on in other people's lives. Sometimes I prefer to be seen, sometimes I prefer to be vivaciously heard, and sometimes I'm just all too wrapped up in quiet.

 I used to be this lady "out there" surrounded by people, by noise, by activities. Not anymore. Sometimes I think about it - going back to the hectic pace of it all, the jolt, the stress, the excitement. But that's all I do - think about it. Truth is, I cringe at the very thought of waking up in a rush and being rattled. No. Not anymore. I wanted a peaceful  creative change, so I'm living it right now.

And what it has afforded me was to see things I never noticed before. I mean, really see things with the soul of it all. I see with my skin, and my ears, and my hands, and my insides now. When I see, I know that it all matters. That the grass is green, the flowers do bloom in the cycle of our tropical season, that there are 3 species of birds living up my tree. I named a swallow, "Albert."

I've also become more perceptive of people - how so many are worried and anxious and angry and disappointed. I've also accepted that people can act selfish. Most of the time, it's just an act. A fearful response to the possibility of  abandonment and lost. 

People wear masks and I see through it more easily today. Some wear far too many. They're the saddest. I grieve for them. I see myself too - the good, the strong, the bad.  I think about it.  I think all about all these.

Without judgment, I do.

Summer Day Meanderings

Hello there! Delighted that you passed by! :D

In spite of this insipid tropical heat that has engulfed our days and suffocated our nights, the days gone by have seen refreshing moments of prettiness and charm.

Like a  week back I met Miss BUsY BeE, a lovely gregarious Malaysian blogger who I have first had the pleasure to meet some time last year. That was a fabulous experience, one that proves the authenticity of friendships born online. When she sent word about coming this way again, was I ever delighted! We spent half a day just like old childhood friends catching up! :D

And then there was the day when I spend lunching alone- just watching the world go by. I have no qualms about dining alone.surrounded by people. In this busy city nobody gives mindful notice. I love how the vibrancy of the moment fills me up with energy and strangely enough, settles me.

After lunch I had an hour and a half to kill before meeting a friend for tea, so  I proceeded to my favorite bookstore to browse books. They were renovating and I had to renew my acquaintance with the shelves and the aisles. 

After having browsed through several books, I decided to proceed to the tea place and wait up. Settled, I found my mind wandering along a winding avenue of thoughts that eventually centered on the future.

I was thinking how there was much to  be thankful for, yes, but what other possibilities could be out there for me? I haven't really given much thought to ideas lately...I know I should...

So round round round I go thinking of what I want...and always still the thought of helping people, .the thought of teaching and bringing knowledge and sharing enlightenment and inspiring comes to heart. There are many possibilities I know. I can put up a cafe..I can do this or that..but the inner core of my heart is married to teaching.

Then I thought back to the plans I had long ago wondering f now could be the time to pursue them. Would it work? Would it be received? Would it be successful? These questions scare me, I admit. But then again, at least for the moment, the pulse of what I truly want throbbed again..and this time, would not be ignored.

The Woman You Were Meant To be

Your authentic self has not abandoned you...

* She has been waiting patiently for you to recognize her and reconnect.

*Turn away from the world {this year} and  begin to listen.

* Listen to the whispers of your heart.

* Look within.

*Your silent companion has lit lanterns of love 
*Your path to wholeness is illuminated

* Acknowledge the good that already exists in your life.

* Offer the universe the gift of your grateful heart.

~Sarah Ban Breathnach

It has been 5 months of traveling the "Simple Abundance" path, and it surprises me to see how I am  today. A me within bravely surfacing to manifest its physical self. True, I must admit, the claws of a worldy' ghost grips for dominance. I feel its desperate drowning pull whenever doubts assail, whenever a familiar cloud of loneliness threatens to suffocate, whenever dark  whispering minions conspire to question my worth - and I curl overwhelmed.


This walk to uncover your authentic self entails 'courage and conviction.' Such heavy words I seldom utter because they frighten me. Why so? The thought of failing to responsibly be the good part of me racks me to pieces. Sometimes the hounding voice of the past still vainly hisses its accusations. It shocks me for a moment. But just for a moment and never for more. Because, now, today, I recognize that voice for what it is. - A lie {vain and vicious}.

And I remind myself of the truth.

And I choose to live that truth for the rest of my days.

And because I do, I find myself reflected everywhere

And my own {truth}reflection  passing before me...all the time.

Grateful..

Life's Simple Pleasures

Oh, goodie! I've never joined a blog giveaway before, so when Gloria of Gloria's Blog Vivalavida told me all about the fun going on in her bloggie home, I hopped on over to see what everything is all about.

The very artistic Gloria is giving away a few of her beautifully precious handcrafted bangles! Who knows I just might win one, haha! And even if I don't, just reading up is pleasure in itself.

The day is going by fast and there are still a few things I need to do. I'm thinking if I should go do them (haha!) ooooor relax a bit and blog hop to all my fave bloogie homies' I haven't visited for quite some time.

Decisions! Decisions! While I'm thinking, I might as well make myself a cup of coffee. Life's too short to pass up a few simple pleasures.

In Quiet Order

Shucks, I need to put a certain quiet order into my days - if I'd like to fully enjoy what it is that I enjoy! Things aren't muddled or anything confusing like that, but I must admit that there's just so much I want to do, both in my virtual and real life, that if I don't establish a kind of system, some basic steps in doing things, then I'm afraid, much of the joy derived would all but fleeter away.

So today, I'm making a schedule! Yes, a schedule for all the "artsy" things I want to create, the blogs I want to read, the people I want to stay connected with, the places I want to visit, and all other activities that color my life. This is sensible. Right now it seems I just hog whatever it is that happens to be in front of me. That's just not good.

Off I go right now to stack shirts in my closet, and afterwards, to write a practical list of fun things to do. Then there's the supermarket errand needing to be done....forgot about that..oh, well. I believe there's always enough time for everything.

About My Garden

When I look at your gardens I am just bawled over with how much space you have! How dainty and fair and even elegant everything seems to be, happily sprouting here and there with such dramatic profusion. Your garden is my dream garden and I can't help comparing mine! How do you do it?


My space is weenie'...and as much as I try to till the little plot I have, my plants seem to have a tumble rough time pushing through the soil. This brazen summer heat has made things worse. But thank goodness it finally rained for real today. 


I have one pot of rose, just one pot. And now this one pot of rose I have is going totally wan on me. I love that rose and now it has small white insects settling on its slowly yellowing leaves. I am at a loss at what to do.This isn't the first time this has happened.

I'm not giving up though. Tomorrow, I shall wake up before the sun greets the sky and talk to my garden, touch them, water them, send good vibes.


Art: by me

Life Imitating Art

It may not be much to look at but I created this, haha! :D

You have no idea how blistering hot it is over here. So one day, to get my mind off the sweltering discomfort, I grabbed my paints, a discarded shoe box and started doodling! 

Might as well make something useful out of what would normally find its way to the trash bin. If I may say so, I am quite happy and proud with the result! A functional CD organizer has come to life, haha! I am so amused. :D

There are still several boxes needing transformation and I intend to get to them as soon as I purchase a set of better paints, plus varnish. There's quite a number of projects I have in mind actually, one involving repainting my dinning set. I don't know how my husband will take to this so I'm starting with a smaller table.

Everything is exciting and I can't wait to see all the crafts I have in mind manifest in life. Yah!