I Think About It

I've been a solitary visitor to blogs lately, preferring to just peek and read and smile at all the nice things going on in other people's lives. Sometimes I prefer to be seen, sometimes I prefer to be vivaciously heard, and sometimes I'm just all too wrapped up in quiet.

 I used to be this lady "out there" surrounded by people, by noise, by activities. Not anymore. Sometimes I think about it - going back to the hectic pace of it all, the jolt, the stress, the excitement. But that's all I do - think about it. Truth is, I cringe at the very thought of waking up in a rush and being rattled. No. Not anymore. I wanted a peaceful  creative change, so I'm living it right now.

And what it has afforded me was to see things I never noticed before. I mean, really see things with the soul of it all. I see with my skin, and my ears, and my hands, and my insides now. When I see, I know that it all matters. That the grass is green, the flowers do bloom in the cycle of our tropical season, that there are 3 species of birds living up my tree. I named a swallow, "Albert."

I've also become more perceptive of people - how so many are worried and anxious and angry and disappointed. I've also accepted that people can act selfish. Most of the time, it's just an act. A fearful response to the possibility of  abandonment and lost. 

People wear masks and I see through it more easily today. Some wear far too many. They're the saddest. I grieve for them. I see myself too - the good, the strong, the bad.  I think about it.  I think all about all these.

Without judgment, I do.