Excavating Dreams

"It takes love and courage to excavate buried dreams..."

Yesterday.

Late Friday afternoon.

Old pair of denims.

I met the hubby for crepes and mint tea at my favorite place for such in our city. It was after work so office people were mulling around eager to get the night life rolling. Shops were full.  I was lucky to get a seat by the window where I could see tents set out and a wide stage being readied for a kind of "wellness dance concert." Hubby arrived and we shared a helping of Tuna Cheese Melt, plus, the tea, which i sweetned with honey.

It was all talk about work and plans and things to do. Finally, details were sorted out and the pen was put away. We paid up, walked out holding hands and pondered where to go next. Would I want to watch that concert? No. I don't think so. Too many people...I wanted something quiet.

Crossing the street, we turned right in search of a quaint pub that used to be where it used to be but wasn't to be. Instead an interesting Italian diner took it's place with somebody on a propped stage cooing love tunes. No! No love tunes please, shucks'...Turning around, we were about to leave when we chanced on a corner table al fresco. Could the table please be prettied and we be served there instead? Of course, said the waiter with a tinge of the resigned  that we would not partake of their singers talent.

We ordered our drinks and it came freezing cold, perfect! The panini took 15 minutes but it was good.

"Have you ever had an awakening as a child,"  I asked him?

"What do you mean?" - he said.

"You know, like that moment when it suddenly hits you that you exist?"

I was twelve...

....standing alone in an isolated beach, long far from the shore with the water knee high.The wind had a voice out there..something that can't be heard in the city. And it spoke to me. My eyes fixed on the eternity of  the curving horizon before me...and for some reason things suddenly came clear..like life was welcoming me to life and a curtain was parted. 

I breathed in the howl of silence and felt the pull of gravity on that lonesome sea shore.I was alone but not really..and I was alive..and I came from somewhere and will journey back again..and that in between it would be beautiful, no matter what. At that moment I was baptized who I am, and was initiated to my identity. Surreal.

When I feel departed from my inner self, I excavate the buried past and revisit that place...the sand on my feet, blue current gently lapping on my leg. With my eyes closed I  shelter in  the trance of that  centering voice cast in the great opaque winds, reminding me still of who I truly am....today.