The Lady Prism: Missing My Muse

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Missing My Muse

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart."
~William Wordsworth

Half unsure about this blog I decided to peek in. Hmm...X was here. I miss X. I also miss my passion laced blogging days when words just flowed though my fingers and I wrote with fluid - ease. That was long ago...so long ago....everything seems to be so long ago....even a minute ago is such a long time ago it seems.

Something happened. Yes, something happened and I lost it. I lost it in just the way I had lost myself and regained myself and lost myself and regained myself, all in a dizzying spiral of labyrinth days. I've lost my words to the wind, floating around but nowhere to be found. I miss them....

There was a time I boldly thought myself a writer. One "able" to wean meaning and insight by stringing and braiding sentences. Was I young then when I fancied myself a goddess of syntax "able" to scoop letters as to dust, breathing life and passion into their alphabet existence? Because when I read others, those others who move me and tickle me and make me smile and reach out for the joy they speak off, when I revel in the brevity of their words, I realize that my own expressions compare nothing but flat - un-sounding. No movement, no tinkle, no rhyme, no flow.

A flight down ordinary, such a wingless wordless goddess heartbroken am I. Sigh

My muse has left me. I sit here mere mortal. I cannot write. The one thing I believe I am, I am not. The one thing I "thought" I could do, I could not. The callousness of my thought was but a mere thought. Maybe tomorrow I will be..once again..think it again. But at this moment, I am not.

I am not - a - writer.
I am just - me.
That's ok.

And with that..I now take a cinnamon bath. Adieu...

6 comments:

darkfoamJune 10, 2009 at 9:30 PM
ohhhhhh ... pretty soaps ...
i do have to admit to a weakness for pretty soaps ..
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HLizaJune 14, 2009 at 6:28 AM
You're in the midst of writing a masterpiece? Wow..hope you'll make it big!
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AnonymousJune 15, 2009 at 5:19 AM
Keep on writing...
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X. DellJune 26, 2009 at 12:18 PM
Maybe it would be better to say that you are often a writer, but not today.

I wish I could send you my muse, but she insists that she only works for me. I have to think, though, that your muse isn't gone. Just off for a coffee break.

BTW, X thinks of you often.
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darkfoamJune 27, 2009 at 1:34 AM
just dropping in here to say hello the beautiful blog of the lady prism ..
oh, and to the lady prism too ..
and, you know, you do write beautifully ..
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couragetocreatewriteandloveAugust 11, 2009 at 10:10 PM
YOU

yes....

YOU!!!!

You are a writer!
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The Lady Prism

Simply somebody who enjoys the company of a few intimate souls. I love the sound of sunbeams and the soothing brush of the shore on a sandy pebbled beach.

I love the ripple of cascading rain and singing brooks. I love the fluttery dance of fireflies and funny crickets on a dewy night. I love the melody of sultry whispers in my ears.

I love the view of a blue moon rising and of the Orion's Belt and of a meteor shower. I love the taste and aroma of French Vanilla Coffee on a Sunday morning in bed. I love moist brownies, almonds and pecans.

But most of all I love the feel of love wrapped around my arms. Welcome to the prism in me!

Mindful

MINDFUL

Every day I see or hear somethingthat more or less kills mewith delight, that
leaves me like a needle in the haystackof light.
It was what I was born for -to
look, to listen, to lose myself inside this soft world -to instruct myself over
and over in joy, and acclamation.
Nor am I talkingabout the
exceptional, the fearful, the dreadful, the very extravagant - but of the
ordinary, the common, the very drab, the daily presentations.
Oh, good
scholar, I say to myself, how can you help but grow wise with such teachings as
these -the untrimmable lightof the world, the ocean's shine, the prayers that
are made out of grass?
~ Mary Oliver

Leaves Of Grass

LEAVES OF GRASS

" This is what you shall do: love the earth and sun, and animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence towards the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown, or to any man or number of men; go freely with the powerful uneducated persons, and with the young, and mothers, of families:

read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life re-examine all you have been told at school or church, or in any books,

and dismiss whatever insults your soul. "

The Summer Day by Mary Oliver

THE SUMMER DAY

Who made the worldWho made the swan, and the black bearWho made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean--

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down--
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyesNow she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?

Marriane Williamson ~ "A Woman's Worth"

* Beauty is an internal light, a spiritual radiance that all women have but most women hide, unconsciously denying its existence. What we do not claim remains invisible.....*

* The woman who is truly self-aware knows that her self is a light from beyond this world, a spiritual essence that has nothing to do with the physical world. Those of us who strongly believe in the reality of spirit are quickly invalidated by a worldly power system that senses within spiritual truth the seeds of its own destruction. For if we truly believed in an internal light, we would not believe in the power of external forces, and we would not be so easy to dominate and control. We would not be tempted to see hair and clothes and makeup as sources of so much of our self-esteem and the ideal beauty of a fashion model as a sign that we are not beautiful at all. *

Authenticity Is A Daily Practice!

Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries and to allow ourselves ourselves to be vulnerable, exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made from strength and struggle and connected to each other through a loving and resilient human spirit;nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we let go of what we are supposed to be and embrace who we are.

Authenticity demands WHOLEHEARTED living - even when it's hard, even when we're wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we're afraid to let ourselves feel it.

Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul searching struggles is how we invite GRACE, JOY and Gratitude into our lives. ♥ ~ Brene' Brown

Next Time

NEXT TIME

Next time what I'd do is look at the earth before saying anything. I'd stop
just before going into a houseand be an emperor for a minuteand listen better to
the wind or to the air being still.

When anyone talked to me, whether blame or praise or just passing time,I'd
watch the face, how the mouth has to work, and see any strain, any sign of what
lifted the voice.

And for all, I'd know more -- the earth bracing itself and soaring, the air
finding every leaf and feather over forest and water, and for every person the
body glowing inside the clothes like a light. ~ Mary Oliver

The Lady Prism

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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Missing My Muse

6 comments:

A Peek Into My Life